December 21st, 2010

team fucket

Post-Grad Life

It's a little scary, and it's only been one week.  First of all, I'm pretty much scared that I'll never find a real, honest-to-god, full-time job.  The economy still sucks from what I hear (been too busy reading about dead guys to pay attention to the living ones, as usual), and anyway, who's going to want to hire a Fiction Writing major???  Ugh--I still want to go back in time and kick my ass for going to a fucking art school!

Except not really.  I'd be the suckiest writer without Columbia, and no one can be blamed for not being able to see the future.  I knew I'd have a tougher time finding good work than your typical IT major or engineer, but guess what?  Even my stupid cousin--the one who went to Purdue and got an engineering degree--is living with Mommy and Daddy last I heard.  His younger brother?  Another follow-your-dreams art student like me.  He quit his shit-box phone kiosk job recently because he just couldn't take it.  'Sup cuz--I did something along those lines last year!  No, I have plenty of reasons to be ashamed of myself, but trying to follow my dreams should never be one of them!  Unless my dream was genocidal, but that's another story...

But yeah, it's tough when you look around, and you no longer have the self-assured attitude found in the religion that I left behind.  "God is in control" is what I was always taught to quell my fears, whether they were real or perceived.  Looking back, I'm not sure why God's plan was supposed to be a comforting thought, because by all accounts he is a shitty planner.  I'd rather be lost and confused and know that I'm lost and confused, instead of being so sure that everything is fine.  Fuck the illusion, bring on oblivion!  And other fresh-out-of-the-flock-isms.

Anyway, do any of you grown-ups out there have advice for me?  I was thinking of taking a few classes on web design at the community college--just a little something to put on my resume.  Or maybe a Cisco Networking certification?  I DON'T KNOW!!!  Any advice or plain old words--practical or otherwise--would be helpful.

EDIT I forgot to tell you that I have a shitty tumblr now!  Go visit The Beast Not Found in Verse when you have a minute. :D  I'll update it--I promise!
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